How to Avoid Loving Someone More Than You Love Yourself

It happened again. You loved someone more than you loved yourself and now rather than this person walking out of your life, suddenly they died. Now of course this is a scenario that hasn't yet happened to most of us, but what if it did happen? What if everything you ever did or said with this person became nothing more than buried six feet deep in the ground? How would you move on?

Do we ever really give thought to something so serious when we are enjoying the company of our mate, most likely no, but we should. We need to step back and look at how much of who we are is wrapped up into our mates. For those of you who are spiritual, you know that God has a way of giving and taking away without explanation. So now it is time to reflect and begin to take action that will make us more self-reliant and protective of our hearts.

1. Ask yourself how much time are you spending with this person?

2. What have you gave up to be with this person?

3. What do you do with your free time when this person isn't around?

4. How do you cope when this person is ill?

5. Do you have any personal hobbies or interests that don't involve this person?

6. Do you ever go anywhere on a regular basis without this person besides work?

7. Are you giving more to him or her than you are receiving such as physically, mentally and spiritually?

8. Are you getting anything from this person in return daily, weekly, monthly that is making you a better person overall?

9. Do you feel after talking or visiting with this person you are mentally or physically drained?

10. Can you survive without him or her if she suddenly died?

Once you have answered these questions honestly, then think about the answers you gave. If any answer included descriptive words like "always, alot, much, many" and similar words, then you need to ask yourself other questions, "Is there any balance in my relationship with this person?" and "Am I really giving myself space to relax and meditate or are they taking up all my personal time?"

Everyone needs some time to think without interruption. Make the time alone to examine what your life's purpose is and what you can do to make a difference in this world. Your world should not revolve around another person, place or thing. As with everything, eventually we grow weary and burn out particularly if we are not happy with ourselves and the choices that we have or hadn't made. So be sure that you are in a healthy, stable relationship that even if he or she dies today or tomorrow (or you should die today or tomorrow) that neither of you have a Romeo and Juliet kind of relationship. There is so much to living besides loving and serving one person.

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