Deceptive Lovers: How They Can Drive You Crazy

There are people in this world that simply could care less about others.  They lie, connive, abuse, and do other things that mentally and/or physically break down others.  They are uncaring and seem to only react when negative things occur to them.  They are unavailable to advise, assist those in need, and would prefer to be alone most of the time.  Although many individuals are aware of how negative they can be when dealing with others, there is still an innate need to want to be loved.  Mean-spirited people associate love with sex and desire "obedient" or "loyal" companions that will do more listening than talking to them.

Deceptive lovers dress well or poorly, they can be beautiful or ugly.  They can have many interests or few.  They can be kind at times or ruthless.  Some things they do that drive those they claim to love include:

1.  Accuse you of misunderstanding a story, thought or request.

A tricky person doesn't want you to ever know the full truth about them so they will withhold information or converse in ways that are vague.  This way when you question them on things they can say, "You were mistaken...that's not how long I said I will be there...You are confused, what I said was..."  Even though the evidence and proof is everywhere to be seen, they will attempt to convince you that you are wrong.

2.  Lie about his or her whereabouts.

When someone is acting mischievously, they will not tell the truth.  So is the case of a cheating lover, lying friend, or crazy spouse.  They never want you to be two steps ahead of them, so once again, they will withhold information, make up a story, or create a situation that looks like the truth or comes close to it, but really is not.

3.  Label you as "immature," "ignorant," "insecure," "stupid," and other choice negative names depending on the mood and situation so as to appear better than you.

When one is trying to appear as if he or she is Mr. or Ms. Right, this person will keep up the act even during a dispute.  However, when one's weakness is being controlling, argumentative, or something else similar, it won't be long before who you thought was Mr. Right or Ms. Right is really Wrong.  Every couple will have disputes, but not every couple name-calls, chokes, kicks, bites, curses, yells, pushes, or makes threats to hurt the other.

These are only three ways a deceptive lover will drive you crazy, but there are many others such as:
  • Steal from you while making you think you misplaced something.
  • Stalk you, but later claim he or she was no where in the area.
  • Claim he or she supports you (usually in front of others) when it comes to things like:  new job, project, parenting, etc., but then criticizes you often while rarely saying anything supportive.
  • Pretend like he or she is in love with you while touching you publicly or bragging about you to others, but behind closed doors wish to end the relationship when he or she feels you no longer are good for him or her i.e.) finances, status, connections, etc.
Plan your escape from someone like this.  It may take days, months, or even years, but try hard to maintain your sanity through the exit process.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.  See her blog here.

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