When Dating a Man with Midlife Issues...

He left his wife.  He broke up with a long time girlfriend.  He bought a fancy car.  He spends his money frivolously.  He appears hot for many women and cold with the one who he claims to love the most (which he only met a few months ago).  He shares sob stories that pull on the heart strings of those who he wants to impress.  He is nice in public, but rude privately.  He doesn't take much interest in his children's lives unless they make him look good in some way.

You may have met him or you just might one day.  Someone in your circle may have warned you that this person is not worth dating long-term and "he is too old for you!"  The mature man may have shared what his issues are with different individuals closest to him while closing his eyes and ears to their wisdom.  If you should enter his life, you are a fountain of youth for a time, but how long you stay, well you might want to be watchful and plan accordingly--hopefully before children, marriage, joint investments, etc. these issues only further complicate matters.

You can't save a midlife man, so don't try.  But how do you know that he is having a mid-life crisis of some kind?

1.  He covers up his feelings while asking you many questions about you.

2.  He changes past events especially those dealing with break ups so as to appear like he is a victim.

3.  He isn't forthcoming about intimacy issues.  You usually find out after having repeated sex.

4.  He brags about his haves ie.) job, car, house, etc.

5.  He hopes to find someone to help him obtain his have-nots--dropping hints that he needs your assistance with his dreams/goals.  "Your so young, energetic...you could possibly help me with..."

6.  He lies about mental and physical challenges.  "I am in good health...like a 20 year old!"

7.  He may appear like he has a faith when in fact he rarely trusts in God to save him.

8.  He starts acting violently.

9.  He pursues many interests (rarely sticks to any of them) or none at all.

10.  He loses interests in things he once enjoyed ie.) travel and sex.

Avoid the mood swings, the cover ups/lies, and even the unresolved issues of a midlife man's past defeats with partner, children, job, etc.  Midlife men who are still going through a myriad of changes will place blame on everyone else but themselves.  They will somehow believe that others are the cause as to why they can't get ahead, can't do better, stay in a relationship, etc. when the truth is a hormonal man, like a hormonal woman, is his own worst enemy.

Nicholl McGuire also writes at Tips Dating Older, Younger.


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