What You Need to Know About Relocating after a Relationship Break Up

You have made the decision to end a relationship and now the time has come to prepare to move out of the residence that you and your former partner have shared.  Now if you will be moving in with someone else, you want to be sure you are not bringing any of your drama to that person’s home.  If you plan to get your own place, then you will need to be sure that you have enough money to support yourself for the long haul, so that you don’t later find yourself back at home with the ex, not for love, but because you have nowhere else to go.

One.  Take the time to begin to take your name off of all joint accounts, bills, insurance, etc.

Never leave business unattended to or assume your partner cares enough about you that he or she will handle your matters.  You have broken up with this person and most likely said or did some things that offended him or her, so be sure your name is cleared off of all documentation.  For instance, if the phone and other utilities are in your name, disconnect them.  It will be up to he or she, to get them turned on.  Don’t have pity on them or enter into agreements to keep things on in your name or believe promises that he or she will pay bills, most likely these issues will become problems for you later and unfortunately ruin your name with creditors.

Two.  Communicate with your partner about your needs.

You will need to discuss anything that may be beyond your control.  This means that if there is some business that he or she has access to and you don’t, you will need to communicate whatever your concern.  If he or she is acting unreasonable, consider consulting a legal service to help you. 

Three.  Be sure you have packed up all your keepsakes and memorabilia.

It is better to have these items moved out and in a safe place the sooner the better.  The longer your items remain in the shared location, the more likely someone will be tempted to want to take or destroy them.

Four.  Avoid talking to his or her relatives about your concerns unless you have a business partnership with his or her people.

There is no reason to get his or her family involved unless you have business with them.  The more people you get involved, the uglier the situation will get.  Make a clean, gossip free break!

Five.  Start making arrangements to have your mail sent elsewhere.

You will want to immediately put a stop to all of your mail.  If you have a new address, have your mail forwarded and change your address directly with each business.  In this way, your partner has no excuse to get in contact with you about your mail.

Six.  Talk with your landlord about your new arrangement.  Put your request to move in writing.

If you haven’t signed a rental lease with this person, then you don’t have to get in contact with the landlord, but if you did, then most likely you will have to wait until your lease date is up to request a move (unless you can provide something like a police report or something else that shows that you can no longer live there.) 

Now if you can reach a compromise with your former partner, you can contact your landlord to request your name be removed from the lease.  He or she will most likely want to meet with your former partner to ensure that he or she is taking over the lease without you.  In some cases, the primary leaseholder or co-signer will not income qualify to take on the lease exclusively.  If this should happen to you, then your name will remain on the lease until the contract expires.  If this should happen and you still move, you will just need to hope and pray that your former partner doesn’t skip out on rent or do anything to the apartment that will mess up both of your names.

Seven.  Consider that if you move, you will lose some of the furniture, security deposit, and other things you may have contributed.

Once you’re gone, your stuff is gone too!  So don’t assume that your partner will do the right thing and give you what is due you.  You can either fight with him or her about your stuff, take it with you on moving day, hope that he or she has a change of heart and just gives you your stuff, or forget about all of it and give yourself a worry-free new start in life.

Eight.  Be prepared to go to court if you should take anything that doesn’t belong to you, leave your partner with a bill that you agreed to pay, or decide to take or leave any children you may have had with this person.

If you thought that you could just walk out the door and leave all responsibilities behind, think again!  Disgruntled partners will attempt to make life difficult for you.  So if you want to get a jumpstart on the future drama, start documenting everything, taking photographs, recording conversations, and whatever else that could possibly help you in the future if you should be sued.

Nine.  Don’t assume that your partner will always act cordial or always act mean.  People do change, at least temporarily, especially if they see benefits.

It may be a difficult time or simply a breeze breaking up, but remember things can change.  She may be okay with your moving out today, but later turn crazy with grief.  He may seem to be managing well, but secretly ready to orchestrate a campaign to get back at you.  The best thing you can do with someone who is unpredictable is live your life.  Move away, don’t go where they are, avoid the telephone, and find some peace of mind until you are no longer weak to their emotional up and downswings toward you.

Ten.  Share with your family your plans only after you have saved enough money prepared your move and have a clear view of what your immediate future looks like.

Prematurely telling your family anything may backfire especially if they like your former girl or boyfriend.  So make sure that you are serious about your breakup.  Sometimes family will not support a relative after a breakup especially when he or she is indecisive about his or her life decisions.  Relationships are like roller-coasters and not everyone likes to ride on one.      

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