Minor Disputes Will Not Kill Your Relationship
While you read this, there are couples all over the world having screaming matches, fist wars, and rages about personal property. Thank God, your relationship woes aren't as bad as others or are they? Disputes are inevitable and how you manage them will determine whether you really want to be in a relationship with that man or woman who keeps giving you the blues.
1. Ask yourself, "Is what my sweetheart saying really that bad?" Truth is that if someone stopped by and listened to what your partner was saying to you, it just might not be as bad as you are making it out to be. Maybe he or she is saying something that you don't agree with, rubbing you the wrong way about something you did or didn't do, or has some other issue with you, whatever the case if you don't look at the issue as "so bad," it won't be.
2. What else has been happening in your partner's life besides you? Sometimes sudden illness, accidents, abuse, death, job loss, pregnancy, and other issues alter one's personality. People don't always bounce back into that person we once knew. So you have a choice, deal with your changed partner or don't. Complaining will get you nowhere, but back into yet another argument. Offer your service, be nicer and more understanding and when all else fails, move on.
3. Are you doing all you can to make wrongs right? Disputes will continue between couples if no one doesn't bother to forgive and forget. Apologies can be difficult to give out if one believes that he or she is right most of the time, it isn't any wonder why you argue. Try humbling yourself, listening to your partner, and then learning from your mistakes.
4. When was the last time you gently touched your partner, made love, or enjoyed one another without distractions? If intimacy is lacking, the body will act out. There will be an increase of disputing. Eyes will roam. The grass might appear to look greener on the other side. It is obvious that life responsibilities are robbing you of your intimate relationship. Make time for one another!
5. Are you spending way too much time with one another? Needy individuals will suffocate their partners. They will expect way too much too soon. They will want their boyfriends and girlfriends to be very attentive and often consider their feelings. If you or your partner is like this, you will argue, because one or both of you are growing weary of one another. This is definitely the time to stop talking to one another, give each other space, and find something more to do with your lives besides sit in each other's presence. If a girlfriend or boyfriend sincerely wants to be with you, he or she will come back around, but if not, the person most likely was looking for a way out of his or her misery.
Now that you have been given five questions to ponder, remind yourself that your relationship is not over and that minor disputes are just that. If you are in a relationship that is sincerely meant to be, you and your partner will come out of this season of disagreement.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry and other blogs.