The Yes Date: We Have So Much in Common - NOT!

He said he liked what I liked and enjoyed this thing and that one whenever I mentioned them.  He was too good to be true.  Who was really driving this relationship, he or I?  When a date is trying to impress you with far too many statements like, "I do that too...What a coincidence I was thinking the same thing...I like that too!"  Look out, this person is trying real hard to stand out in the crowd.  He or she wants you to like him or her just as much as you like that thing you are eating or that place you often visit.

I can't tell you how many men have acted, that's right, I said acted like they like my hobbies, what I eat, where I like to go, and even how I style my hair, just to get close to me.  But as I learned more about these dates, I found that they were not interested in many things I liked.  What's worse, when I called them out on things that they said during our first meetings, they would become visibly upset, "No, you are mistaken, I didn't say...I don't recall telling you I liked...I never said I didn't like, what I said was..."  I'm not mistaken, stupid or a fool, I know what these dates said and their stories ended sooner rather than later with me too.

You have to watch these men and women who may not have dated in years, but are desperate to have a relationship with someone--anyone (tall, short, white, black, fat, skinny, wild or crazy) whether that is their preference or not.  Then there are those fresh out of a break up types that don't realize they are just looking for a rebound guy or gal until the ex comes crawling back (at least that is what they hope).  They pride themselves on trying to convince you that they are alright with you and whatever comes with you. 

You may have dated a "Yes Date" in the past.  He or she was that one that if you said, "I like" the Yes Date, like the Yes Man, would say, "Yes, I will go.  Yes, I will do that.  Yes, that's okay with me.  Yes, I will try that."  Then when you asked this person, "What did you think of...?"  He or she would lie and say, "It was fine, nice...I enjoyed it."  Yeah right, Liar!  At first it feels good to know that after years of being with a "No" kind of man or woman, it is a breath of fresh air to finally get that, "Yes!"  But remember, those exs use to be "Yes" people too until we found them out or they found us out. 

When one starts dating that special someone, let this person know early on what you like and don't like about all sorts of things.  The part about "don't like" will get lost between all the niceties, so it is your job to make what doesn't interest you relevant to your conversations with your dates.  However, you don't want to shower them with too many "don't likes" especially when you haven't spent that much time together and if your "don't like" has nothing to do with the events at hand.  You will just look like a complainer or negative person. 

It is always better to be forthright about your interests, rather than worry over how someone might react to you saying, "I don't like that but I do prefer this..."  If a person repeatedly judges, argues or teases you because you simply say, "No" to something or "...don't want..." something else, then that is one less person you need in your life!  As I said in another blog entry, "Cut your losses early!"


Nicholl McGuire

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