Don't Lie, Don't Leave Out Important Details

If you were riding in a car with a date you met recently and just chatting away about your life with him or her, you would most likely skip over all the negative stories and stick to the things that make you feel good and hopefully that person as well.  But sometimes those feel-good stories have some details that can't be omitted out without a date questioning later, "Well why did that happen?  What made you do what you did?  How did you end up with that person and move where you did?"  It is very tempting to alter a few details and leave truthful information out, but don't.  I repeat, don't!  Once you start down that path of omitting information or blatantly lying about details of your personal life, you will have to keep your story up.  You will start to look for a way to persuade someone to believe one thing while covering other things.  You will also find that you don't appear necessarily honest especially when you slip up.  If you have caught yourself lying or omitting details, come clean by saying something like, "I realized that I spoke to quickly...that didn't happen the way I had originally explained it, let me try again."

Self-centered people often miss out on decent relationships with honest individuals, because they aren't open, truthful, or even care much about the other person.  Rather their focus is on what material or sexual gain they might get before the night is over.  So being careful not to screw up an opportunity to appease one's flesh, they make their lives appear better than they are.  The Know-It-All acts smarter than she truly is.  The Liar acts like he is a man of integrity.  The Gossip pretends to be trustworthy.  The Abused appears to be strong.  So many personalities one has to deal with when dating.  Usually the truth reveals itself the longer you converse with the person, notice I didn't mention sleep with the person.  Spend too much time being behind closed doors with a date and not enough time getting to know the person in various atmospheres interacting with different people,  and your truth will take longer to get to.  The person will just learn how to cover his or her basis a little better so that he or she can keep getting fleshly needs met.  Don't be put off when one isn't responding to you in a way that other dates may have such as being affectionate and showering you with flattering statements, people who truly want to get to know a person look beyond the surface and arrest emotions at least for a time until they get to know you.

Seek truth when talking to your date.  Ask the basic questions that people are most comfortable about answering, but as you get more serious with this individual start asking those uncomfortable questions.  Watch mannerisms when questions are asked.  The liar is going to either try real hard to look honest, look away while giving a little bit of truth, give more information than necessary while still not really answering your questions, or digress to give his or her self time to think.  Some people become openly irritated and will try to hide their "dark side" by making jokes, smiling, or asking you to change the subject.  You may have done some things like this yourself.

When dates are truthful from the start, they will quickly realized whether they want to continue pursuing a relationship with one another or move on.  Cut your losses early, life is just too short!  Think of all the people who could have avoided a lot of unhappy years with someone had they been honest from the start!

Nicholl McGuire


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