Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

About nine years ago, I was curious as to why people go back to one another after a break up.  I had noticed this pattern after a few honeymoon periods between victims and their abusive partners (as well as myself--thank God I have been free for over 20 years now) and men who I dated who were still thinking about and sexing the so-called ex. The answer to that question provided results that were, too put it plainly, common sense, but didn't make the reasons right, good or altogether true.  The answers from real people with real life experience can be found in the discussion I started here: Why People Go Back to One Another "Why are they back together, why?"

You might be angry with yourself for all the times you believed that your companion was into you when the truth could be she pretended like she enjoyed everything you were into. You see this now, but you didn't back when you were having a good time with her. It doesn't help matters when we persuade people to go along with doing things that we know they just aren't into or we appease them just to make them smile while we hurt within. Yet, inside you are thinking, "I don't like any of this! The things we do for love!" Once again, you spoiled the woman or maybe she ruined you by doing everything you wanted. She went along with your selection of places to eat; exaggerated how good you were at doing something, your pick in a movie selection, or what you do for others. Too much of the actress can be unnerving, so you pull back and you want time alone or you want to go places without someone in the passenger seat. She probably gave you hell fo

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Things are Never the Same - First Insult, Slap, Ki... : You don't understand how did we go from talking about something so simple to blowing up.  Two people had personal qualms with the other...

If you aren't too careful, defending your dear mother, father and other relatives and friends when your partner brings up issues more than a few times just might cost you your relationship. Is it really worth it? Many people ended up in divorce court because selfish, manipulative and controlling relatives put just enough pressure on their relationships to send them there.

Where in the rulebook does it say you have to like your partner all the time?  Don't beat yourself up about your personal feelings or let others who may have observed your mood change to guilt you.  When a mate isn't giving you much reason to like or even love him or her lately it's okay.  Simply find ways to either rekindle positive emotions, communicate concerns, distance yourself for a time (absence makes the heart grow fonder), or use the quiet and space to grow from this difficult season and redirect your attention on the things that matter in your own life rather than pay so much attention on him or her.  Most mature couples reconcile gradually, but those that are seriously thinking about separating or divorcing, they usually never connect in the way they once did.  Sex is a mere bandaid for them, and doesn't satisfy emotionally.  Check yourself, think about what your partner may be going through, and say a prayer for you both.

by ebowdublin . From Visually .

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Attentive, Common Interests, Loving, Sexual, Intox... : Watch for signs...the early days of meeting one's abuser. Narcissists, borderline personalities, anti-socials all exploit people! ...

With the rise of black men dating white women, just a friendly reminder, just because someone is white doesn't make them right and once you go black, you can always go back to what you know.  If you listen to how some black men down their mothers, exes, and more and white women talk about white men on places like YouTube, you can't help but think that hate is what they are advocating.  Some of the more popular channels are most likely paid or encouraged to continue to broadcast stupidity.  Interracial relationships are challenging enough, but when you are in a relationship with someone who promotes self-hatred, has low self-esteem, or has a misogynist mindset, whether he or she is indirect or direct with personal offenses, it is only a matter of time that the self-hating, smiling white woman or black man will turn on one another (and others) like snakes.  This is also true with other mixed couples like: Latino and Caucasian, Asian and Caucasian, and so on.  Running to a

How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

It's not what a lover does that makes him or her so special.  There are plenty of great actors out there.  Ask yourself, "What am I willing to put up with after the niceties begin to fade?" -- Nicholl McGuire http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Relationships and Dating She's Crazy and So is Her Mother Too 2 of 2 - Video Dailymotion

You didn't think it would ever come to this, thoughts of breaking up, but considering recent events, you are about ready to call it quits.  Do you really want this?  See here:  Divorce

What to Expect When Dating a Jealous Woman