Sunday

What Are You Willing to Do to Have a Healthy Relationship?

Some people claim they want better relationships, yet they want to live their lives selfishly without giving a thought about partners' feelings.  They expect mates will always agree with them.  They falsely believe they are "good" men and women.  They also deceive themselves into thinking now that they are engaged or married that partners will always be around.  Healthy relationships require effort.  One who is unwilling to do too much of anything, other than to sail along in a relationship, will end up losing.  You can't put a relationship on cruise control or set it or forget it like a kitchen gadget.  It really does take two to make things work!

1.  Stop thinking and comparing your past to a current mate.

The more you think about "I wish...I wonder if he/she is thinking about me...What went wrong with XYZ?  I sure wish things would have been different."  All of this wishful thinking will play a part in your current relationship even if a partner has no clue that is what you are thinking.  Also, be careful of the entertainment you are selecting, because that will expose you!  A musician singing about "Do I ever cross your mind..." talk shows about wanting exes back, or a movie about how to get an ex back are dead giveaways!

2.  Keep away from distractions that will only cause problems in your relationship.

We know there is always one, two or three or more that will call out of the blue, send an email or a text.  Don't let your communication disturb your intimate connection with a current partner because it will!  Alcohol and substance abuse are relationship killers.  So is cheating, lying, financial challenges, unwanted babies, and more.  If things are going well, it is always best not to add to relationship burdens. 

3.  Avoid getting your relatives and friends involved with your relationship challenges.

Male and female friends who have nothing better to do with their time, but to be in your personal business will also get you in trouble sooner or later.  Busybody relatives with negative opinions, so-called helpful advice or unhealthy teachings about all things related to relationships will eventually wear on you.  Before you know it, you are separated, divorced, and/or lonely.  Keep in mind, Misery loves company!

4.  Don't be tempted to make children so important that you forget about your partner.

One thing that many new couples overlook is just how challenging raising children can be.  A relationship is never the same once babies show up.  The mother's personality will change and so will her body.  Men don't always look or act the same either.  Parents who tend to coddle children will usually ignore one another.  They also tend to put children on pedestals while demonizing partners.  Throw in controlling grandparents into the mix and there will be problems!  Put your parenting in check and remember children will grow up and live their own lives and what will you and a partner do then if there was mistreatment going on in the relationship all those years?

5.  Jobs come and go, so why spend so much time at one that you don't see your family?

The money blinds so many workers in relationships.  Families end up breaking up because someone doesn't know when to shut down a computer, shut up at work, shut off a cell phone, and more.  Consider this, who will be there when the boss one day calls you into his office and says, "We no longer need your service...We have to lay off employees...I'm sorry to inform you..."

6.  Think about ways you can be more kind, helpful, and appreciative of your partner. 

Your loved one can leave the relationship without a moment's notice, always remember that.  No one is required to stay in a loveless relationship including those who believe in the Almighty, even God will not co-sign on foolishness! 

It might appear like a partner is okay with frequent impatience, ignoring, ugly ways, and more, but the reality is that one day, he or she will say, "Enough is enough!"  Some used and abused partners haven't considered divorcing miserable mates, but they will die one day from constant stress.  Think about those in your own family who endured much from partners and are now resting in peace.

Do what you can to make the most of your relationship, this way if it does come to an end, at least you did the best you can.  A healthy relationship is possible so why not put in the effort to maintain it like you would a house, car, and a job?

Nicholl McGuire provides spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

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She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
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