Singles: Some Things You Forgot About Being in a Relationship

Praying on his knees one night with the hope to find a wife one day, his prayer is answered (at least so he thinks).  He eventually meets that special someone that appeared to be right for him during the early stages of the courtship.  But as he learns more about her, he remembers why he remained single for so long.


A woman with children and no man to complete her happy home is disappointed after months of dating a man who has far too much baggage than she can handle.  She recalls why she didn't want to start dating especially with young children still at home.


In both scenarios, the individuals are unhappy and wish for their single, uncomplicated lives prior to welcoming others into their worlds.  Although many singles desire to be in an intimate relationship with someone, there are those who know that its just not right for them now or never. 


If you are single and frustrated with finding a match, be reminded of those little things you might have forgotten about when it comes to relationships and just maybe you will slow down and smell the flowers alone for awhile longer.


1.  In-laws and other family members.


Do you need to be reminded of those days of having to meet the parents and extended relatives?  What about a partner's children?  The opinions they have of you.  The things an ex said about you.  The fussing and fighting of children.  The efforts you make trying to win everyone's approval.  It was all so draining.  Do you still feel the need to be with someone right now?


2.  Annoying routines.


You do recall those days having to put up with an ex's chalkboard screeching routines.  Well, when you meet someone new the annoying routines slowly, but surely come out.  Those irritations just take on a new form and you still have to put up with stuff you don't like. From boring weekends to neat freak behavior, remember those days of having to compromise?


3.  Unsightly appearances and body odors.


Singles are often so nice-looking and smell good at least in the beginning of a dating relationship.  However, in time things change.  You recall those times you saw what an ex looked and smelled like at home compared to what you saw in the public, right?  Did looks and smell matter somewhat in the break-up?  Be honest.


4.  Snoring and other things that make noise at night.


This point might seem petty, but is a big deal when you are so content with falling asleep at night without the distractions.  Sometimes there are those people who keep televisions on all night, others who have a sudden burst of energy in the wee hours of the a.m., and still others who are often walking through the night making noises in almost every room.  Oh, how you had wished to send an ex back home after sex! 


5.  Being on your best behavior more often than you care to be.


You might have forgotten that some of the best relationships survive due to kindness and generosity and if you lack one or both of these things, you might want to keep your grumpy and cheap attitude to yourself.  But maybe that wasn't you, but your ex.  Remember those fights about what you did and didn't do in the last relationship?  Have you bothered to make any changes to your unkind and cheap ways or are you still blaming the ex?  Would you like a repeat performance with someone new?


6.  Your stuff and his/her stuff.


Whether too much or too little stuff, if you aren't one for the following:  sharing space, don't like when others touch your stuff, and can't stand when someone uses up items and doesn't replace them, you might want to hold off on the hope of cohabitating with someone one day soon.


7.  Financial woes.


You have enough of your own, so why take on someone else's?  But you say, "I'm not helping her/him with his bills, he/she has a job..."  Not so fast!  Your future partner's financial issues/desires/gains/losses will affect you sooner or later, job then no job, holidays then no holidays, debt and more debt, get the picture?  So one must be prepared to share the financial load.


Of course, there are many other things to consider when thinking about "settling down, meeting someone special, needing a girlfriend/boyfriend."  Is it really the relationship that you want and all that comes with it (good, bad and otherwise) or the feeling?  You can get that feel-good moment watching an entertaining romance movie or reading a good book.  But the long-term feeling of being in love is not-so easy to come by and when it does, will you be ready--marriage, babies, home, cars, investments...


Nicholl McGuire

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