Someone Out There is Better for You But...
It is nice to think about how there is someone somewhere who is better for you then that person you are currently with, but before we go too far in our imaginary worlds, know that we wouldn't necessarily be right for those people.
Everyone has their share of flaws and some partners can tolerate everything from their loved ones who have a long history of lying to those who yell and curse far too much. Sure, you could drop that zero and get with a hero, but is that what you really want?
Some people stay in relationships far too long and become tainted with their abusive partners' mess! They act like fools, just like them, without realizing just how infected they have become with all their partner's negativity over the years. These same troubled individuals will say, "I am going to breakup with my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and find someone better!" Meanwhile, the wishful thinker has become nothing more than a poison in his or her current relationship that just wants to get out and infect others. It would be best to slow down, get one's house in order, disconnect one's self from the drama, and take a long vacation from relationships before jumping into another one.
There are far too many men and women getting married due to heavy infactuation (not love) and money-saving opportunities that they fail to give themselves time to heal from the past. Some will even slip and call the new person a former partner's name--now that is just too soon to be dating someone else!
It isn't any wonder why some will stay in challenging relationships, because they just don't have the energy to even think about starting anything new with someone else. Think of the years you have invested in someone trying to get him or her to understand you. Notice how much money you have spent to keep love alive. Consider the children you might have had with this person. Do you really want to go on a search again trying to find someone new that you hope will complete you?
If it brings you peace knowing that someone out there is indeed better for you, then don't let me ruin your dream, but while you are wishing, fix yourself up mentally, physically and spiritually before you become someone else's nightmare.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself.
Everyone has their share of flaws and some partners can tolerate everything from their loved ones who have a long history of lying to those who yell and curse far too much. Sure, you could drop that zero and get with a hero, but is that what you really want?
Some people stay in relationships far too long and become tainted with their abusive partners' mess! They act like fools, just like them, without realizing just how infected they have become with all their partner's negativity over the years. These same troubled individuals will say, "I am going to breakup with my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and find someone better!" Meanwhile, the wishful thinker has become nothing more than a poison in his or her current relationship that just wants to get out and infect others. It would be best to slow down, get one's house in order, disconnect one's self from the drama, and take a long vacation from relationships before jumping into another one.
There are far too many men and women getting married due to heavy infactuation (not love) and money-saving opportunities that they fail to give themselves time to heal from the past. Some will even slip and call the new person a former partner's name--now that is just too soon to be dating someone else!
It isn't any wonder why some will stay in challenging relationships, because they just don't have the energy to even think about starting anything new with someone else. Think of the years you have invested in someone trying to get him or her to understand you. Notice how much money you have spent to keep love alive. Consider the children you might have had with this person. Do you really want to go on a search again trying to find someone new that you hope will complete you?
If it brings you peace knowing that someone out there is indeed better for you, then don't let me ruin your dream, but while you are wishing, fix yourself up mentally, physically and spiritually before you become someone else's nightmare.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself.
Friendship - When a Date Wants Nothing More, Nothing Less
Companionship isn't promoted on movie screens and elsewhere between the opposite sex like being lovers to one another is. Hold hands, kiss, have sex, argue, hug...touch, undress, touch, and so on. But what about friendship? What about two people being companions? No touching, no sex, just talking--enjoying one's company?
When one is getting to know someone for the first time there is much conversing going on, probably too much. In time, the date feels like he or she knows enough about the person that now he or she feels like they can touch or be ready to experience a touch that eventually leads into an intimate moment that might produce a child, a sexual disease, or disappointment.
A good friendship will take you away from the bedroom and to the places you always wanted to go. It will help you discover things about yourself and the other person that just isn't worth risking fun times for sex. One can experience contentment just by being in the presence of a good friend without the worry of trying to impress.
When a date realizes that the one seated across from him or her at the restaurant is more a friend than a potential partner, this is a good thing--a very good thing! What this means is that two people are free to be themselves! There is no facade, no pressure, or stress about following any order of how things should go! You also don't have to worry over footing any bill-- go dutch!
Whenever the opportunity comes to have a friendship with someone, rather than a sexual relationship, be open to it! There is nothing wrong with periodic communication, attending an event or two (without touching), and being supportive of one another when one is up or down. Yet, what is wrong is the following: when people manipulate one another to get things, are unclear as to what the status of their relationship is, and act disrespectfully toward a partner because of a so-called friend who is really one that receives "benefits."
Take the time and think about what it really means to be a good friend and respect those who simply want nothing more and nothing less.
Nicholl McGuire
When one is getting to know someone for the first time there is much conversing going on, probably too much. In time, the date feels like he or she knows enough about the person that now he or she feels like they can touch or be ready to experience a touch that eventually leads into an intimate moment that might produce a child, a sexual disease, or disappointment.
A good friendship will take you away from the bedroom and to the places you always wanted to go. It will help you discover things about yourself and the other person that just isn't worth risking fun times for sex. One can experience contentment just by being in the presence of a good friend without the worry of trying to impress.
When a date realizes that the one seated across from him or her at the restaurant is more a friend than a potential partner, this is a good thing--a very good thing! What this means is that two people are free to be themselves! There is no facade, no pressure, or stress about following any order of how things should go! You also don't have to worry over footing any bill-- go dutch!
Whenever the opportunity comes to have a friendship with someone, rather than a sexual relationship, be open to it! There is nothing wrong with periodic communication, attending an event or two (without touching), and being supportive of one another when one is up or down. Yet, what is wrong is the following: when people manipulate one another to get things, are unclear as to what the status of their relationship is, and act disrespectfully toward a partner because of a so-called friend who is really one that receives "benefits."
Take the time and think about what it really means to be a good friend and respect those who simply want nothing more and nothing less.
Nicholl McGuire
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