7 Signs You are the Cause of Your Dating Problems

Every time you go out with someone, you feel something is missing.  You try to figure out what it might be, but you can’t.  Your dates have noticed at times you are distant, confused, and negative.  You often point the finger at your dates.  However, have you thought about what you might be doing or saying that is making your dates not want to ask you out on another date?

It can be hard to believe that your dates are coming to a quick end because of you.  Ego gets in the way and says, “It’s not my fault.  I didn’t cause the problem.”  Yet, the issues may lie with you from the start.  What is missing in your life?  Do you have any personal interests?  Are you being honest with yourself in area of your life such as money, relationship, job, etc.

When one isn’t happy with self he or she is not going to make anyone else happy.  Rather than bring positivity, one who is troubled is going to bring all that is negative to a relationship.  "The restaurant service could have been better.  The movie wasn’t that good.  The traffic is terrible."  The negative person goes on with their negativity, The place a date picked to visit after the meal was a poor choice.  The person’s choice in clothes was not appealing.  Notice the negativity in these statements?

What really is happening is somewhere within, a single seeking love should really be focused on finding the good in one’s self.  What do you like about you?  What brings a smile on your face?  What do you like to do?  How do you feel about love?  When was the last time you feel in love?  Why are you so negative when on dates?  Who hurt you?

7 Signs that you are the cause of why good dates turn bad show up when any of the following has occurred in your life.

1)    1) You have unresolved issues with an ex, a parent, or a friend.  You may have been rejected.  Someone may have let you down.  You trusted a person, but they proved to be untrustworthy.  Your negative feelings weren’t dealt with and now a new person is left having to deal with your disappointments, worries, anger, and fear.

2)     2)  You may have health issues that are impacting you in negative ways.  When you don’t feel good on the inside it will surely show on the outside.  When was the last time you visited a doctor and received treatment?

3)     3)  Your dates tend to get quiet or become distant after you converse about all that is wrong with everyone and everything.

4)     4)  You find that you are not sincerely getting to know people when you date, you are just looking for something to happen physically to ease whatever discomfort or need you may have.

5)     5)  You don’t make your dates feel welcome in your presence.  You may come off as angry.  When people don’t feel safe with others, they will avoid what they deem are toxic people.

6)     6)  Your dates have told you the truth about yourself and they have used negative words to describe you such as “impatient, irritable, moody, irrational, delusional, troubled, sick, crazy…”

7)     7)  You have a poor opinion of yourself and you share those views with your dates.  People are cautious of people who don’t think much of themselves.

What you can do is start by addressing personal issues before you date again.  Give yourself time to think about yourself and what you really want.  Work on making some changes mentally, physically and spiritually that uplift you as well as others.  Stop hoping, wishing and praying that someone will come into your life to save you from your mess.  

The sooner you realize how valuable you are, the better you will feel.  Someone may be waiting for the real you to come out, the one who would very much like to live his or her best life now.  However, if you are unwilling to improve you, your dates will continue to be disappointing in the future.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men


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