Be Careful You're Not Deceived By A No Good Man

No good men. Who are they? They are some of our fathers, uncles, cousins and brothers. They look good or smell bad. Smell good or look bad. They are men who promise us the world, but never act on their promises. They are lazy and stubborn. They lack the Holy Ghost, take advantage of Christian women and disrespect their mothers. They are infested with diseases while they cover themselves up with suits. They are broke all the time and owe money to everyone they know. They lie and smile. They make us cry, more than laugh. They abuse us, curse us and walk all over us. They are usually fatherless, motherless or both. They are the creators of no good women! Yet, we love them.

Why do we always talk ourselves out of what we see and hear? When something isn't right and we know it, we immediately look for information to support reasons why it's right. Even though we know it's wrong. We do this all the time, when we are selecting our men. We say, "He will change one day. I will just take him to church and God will help him out. All I need to do is pray for him." We may say, "He just needs a little work, I will fix him up with some new clothes." And we might also say, "He needs to be around positive people. I will just kindly mention some ways he can do away with those no good friends of his." Ladies, please! We can't change these men.

We can put a thought in their head and hope they will cling to it as their own, but it will take time and most likely any changes that do occur won't happen quick enough for us. So women of the world, stop thinking that your no good man will be Mr. Right when you get through with him, because if he cheated with you while he was with someone else, he will cheat on you when you are married. If you found him dirty, then don't think he will always stay clean, because you bought him a new outfit. If he wasn't taking you out in broad daylight when you dated, then he's not going to start taking you out when you want him to. Women stop deceiving yourselves into thinking that your homebody man is going to suddenly become outgoing! You will have given your best years to someone who simply doesn't like what you like and eventually you will begin to give yourself up (your spirit) to appease him. What kind of life is that?

The following story is a typical situation of a woman who got herself involved with a no good man. There was once a woman who was very young, vibrant and beautiful. She fell in love with a very debonair, young gentleman who was very witty and kind. He was a big hit with the ladies and a big flirt. She worried about this man. Would he cheat on her? Would he leave her? She didn't trust him. As the couple grew older, they made plans to have children and to travel the world in a Winnebago. She believed this man would do what he said and so she held on to that dream.

Unfortunately, money, the children, and her worries got the best of them. Money was never enough and too many children took up too much time. However, those children became older, moved away and then the couple became alone. Her husband's grumpy attitude over the years overrided the wife's outgoing and personable temperament. Not only that, his desire for sex went out the window. This woman spent the majority of her life anticipating her husband's dreams be fulfilled, putting up with his grumpy temperament, and letting her worries override her spirit. What happened to her? In her mid-fifties, she died with no dreams to call her own, no sex, no true happiness, overweight and ill, just living day-to-day. Is that what you want? Could she have done better, if she could have foreseen the future? Yes. Don't believe that you can't see the future. Because you can avoid certain things, relationships and bad choices by the signs God gives you in advance. These "no good man" signs are here, not to keep you from ever experiencing anything negative, but to keep you from making the wrong decision that will keep you out of God's will permanently. Some men will slip just as some women will slip, but it doesn't have to keep you out of God's will, so please don't ignore the signs. Take the test after you read the signs to determine if you have a no good man, a man with potential, a Mr. Right man (what the general public believes is Mr. Right) or a Godly Man (a man after God's own heart).

Here Are the Signs
He's No Good...
1. He has no job when you met him and you paid for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Previous jobs he had, were always less than one year. His reasons why he left always seem to blame everyone else, but himself.

2. Lies or lied about wife or having had girlfriend(s) while you were dating him.

3. Still lives with his mother at least two years after having graduated from high school or college. If he is still living with his mother years after a separation, divorce, house fire, etc. avoid him.

4. Always changes the subject or avoids topics of God and religion. No desire to watch anything on t.v. related to God, does not attend church or read anything biblical. (Note: All Christian women stay away - do not be unequally yoked. You won't change him.)

5. Does not know how to fix anything. Cringes at anything that has to do with physical labor such as doing dishes, mopping the floor, mowing the grass, hanging a picture or organizing a shelf.

6. Doesn't like to spend his money. Always wants you to contribute.

7. Never buys anything new that includes his clothes, his furniture, his appliances and his cars.

8. Hides things of his around the house or away from home such as phone numbers, pornographic videotapes and magazines, sexual toys and old pictures of girlfriends.

9. He has absolutely no patience with children. Always talks about the negatives of having children, rarely sees the positive benefits.

10. Selfish with time, unless it benefits him in some way.

11. Selfish with money.

12. Selfish with sex, leaves you lying there while he rolls over and goes to sleep. Doesn't ask about your needs. Doesn't care.

13. Drunk when you met him and on consecutive dates after that.

14. Avoids conversations about commitment and doesn't act upon it.
15. After a few months you haven't met his parents, yet he has attended several get-togethers and never invited you.

16. All the gifts he buys you are under $50.00, yet his wardrobe is name brand, his car is expensive and his apartment is upscale.

17. You find yourself making excuses for his behavior and spending habits to family and friends.

18. Talks about you negatively to his parents, friends and relatives.

19. He enjoys calling you names and often foolishly jokes in public to embarrass you or belittle you.

20. Rarely enjoys going anywhere outside of his job such as vacationing to other states, going to the movies, and eating out at restaurants.

21. Complains about everything from what you two were served at the restaurant to how people park in parking lots.

22. Everything that has ever happened to him he blames everyone else.

23. He tells all your secrets.

24. He is always looking at other women or men's bodies and sometimes he will compare you to them or just generally make comments.

25. Always questions where you have gone, who you are with and is deeply concerned about you talking to other men.
These 25 definite signs that your man is no good and will be no good in the future should be used to evaluate whether or not you would want to spend the rest of your life with your current man. No one wants to devote their lives to someone and then end up divorcing later because they ignored the signs during their courtship. Please pay close attention to the signs, if it is something that bothers you, you are losing sleep and everyone is telling you "the man is no good," listen!

If you both continue to argue about the same things, and no one is changing, be the bigger person and leave. Ignore the comments that the no good man might say about you being "weak, a runner, lazy," etc. Don't go back, it will only get worse each time. If you should stay, think about your children. If the relationship is causing you more grief, than happiness, your children may be watching you and will pick up on your behavior or his. According to the media, one in two marriages end in divorce. The affects of divorce has been compared to losing a loved one. They are devastating, not only to you, but to other family members. However, it is up to you to pray and ask the Almighty God to direct your path. It is only through Him, that he will build a path of security, love, and kindness. Won't you pray today?

The relationship is completely over when...

1. It causes you physical or mental harm.
2. He poses six or more of these signs with no hope to change and you continuously argue about the same things.

3. He is potentially harmful to the children.

4. You have lost items that you own due to destructive behaviors.

5. You have experienced various types of harassment from ex-girlfriends, friends, and relatives.

NO GOOD MAN SCALE

Six and up - No Good Man. Make every effort to leave him, by surrounding yourself with positive people like family and friends, stop being intimate, living with him and talking on the phone unless you have a child involved. If so, meet him in public places and let all conversations be about the child or children.

Four to Five -Potential. There is hope for change, but it won't be immediate and he will have to do the changing. Remember you can't change him.

Three -Mr. Right. He isn't perfect, but he isn't immature. He values you and will attempt to do better.

One to Two - Godly Man.
Once again not perfect, but who is, except Jesus. This man is accountable to someone other than himself and that is God. Go to church with him.

Nicholl McGuire

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