Thursday

He Loves Women Far Too Much - A Player with a Lot of Love

Wink, whisper, touch, and a flattering statement, the player with a lot of love to give is never satisfied with just one woman.  "But he wants to be with me, he told me so..." the gullible, young lady yells at all those who doubt her new boyfriend's commitment.  "See, he gave me a ring.  He told me that I am the one for him.  I trust him, you don't know what you are talking about!"

Those of us who have been on this planet far longer than we want to reveal and have had many relationships in our lifetime start to see the same types of women and men.  There are those who are all-too trusting paired up with the pimp, player, and hustler who use their charm to convince all, "That girl is my world, I love her..." Sure you do and all the other women who come in your direction too!

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He was a charming man, attractive, sweet, and nice to all who met him.  Handsome, mature and intelligent, he swept the young woman off her feet.  She couldn't believe he chose her when he could have any woman.  It was then that her thought made her far too trusting of that sweet snake of a man.  She talked of her wedding date.  She shared his promises with anyone willing to listen that he would take care of her and she didn't have to worry about a thing. 

As the relationship grew older, Mr. Nice Guy wasn't being so nice (see Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate).  His eyes were wandering on and offline.  He had yet to disconnect from online dating websites, "Just in case..." he reasoned.  He wasn't the least bit interested in connecting with his girlfriend's family and he could care less about a wedding day.

So the sweet, young girl, who had a lot to learn about life, continued to sing his praises, but in time she would learn like all the others who came before her that she was just another one of his lovers.  He was a player with a lot of love to give.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog as well as Love Poems by Nicholl, see here. 

Wednesday

10 Signs Your Online Date Has Hidden Mental Issues

Have you been in contact with someone online that you are doubtful about meeting in person?  Could it be that you picked up on some things about this person that make you doubt whether he or she is really a match for you?  With so many people being knowledgeable when it comes to using the computer and navigating the Internet, you never know what you might find on an online dating website.  More and more people with low IQs, unattractive looks, mental and physical illnesses, and unresolved issues from the past are flocking to the web in search of love too.  So for those who are very particular about who they want to enter their lives, be on the look out for people who have all sorts of mental and physical challenges hiding their issues amongst doctored up photos, flattery, and impressive dating profiles. 

How do you know your online date has some hidden mental issues they don't want you to know about?

1. This person expects you to keep him or her entertained in conversation, while he or she says very little (or the individual might be overly talkative to the point that you can't get a word in.)
2.  He or she spends time complaining or blaming an ex over things that most people wouldn't make a big deal about.
3.  Your online date seems overly serious, sensitive or often angry and one's explanation for his or her personality issues seems to make no sense.
4.  You have caught your online date in lies, half-truths, or exaggerations and you feel like he or she is often hiding some facts about his or her self.
5.  You noticed that your date doesn't talk about job, family or friends without being prompted and when he or she speaks there is never anything much to tell or far too much to say to the point that you feel uncomfortable.
6.  The online dater sends you messages that sound as if this person has taken them from a book, song, or even someone else's profile.
7.  You feel as if your date is trying to say and do all the right things to please you, but you have yet to figure out what he or she really wants with you except the obvious, sex, money or both.
8.  He or she often talks about an illness he or she is grappling with and shares some information about taking a prescription medicine, missing work, having to pay hospital bill, or some other health related concern.
9.  Your online date doesn't mention doing much else with his or her life, but going to work.
10.  Whenever you ask a personal question or one that requires using some critical thinking skills, the response is poorly written, ignorant, weird, or downright stupid.

If you notice most of these points in someone you have been talking to via the Internet, imagine what a future with this person might look like.  Will you be able to put up with the mood swings associated with his or her personality issues or physical handicap?  Are you patient when it comes to people talking slow or stuttering?  Do you exhibit self-control even when someone is having a mental fit around you?  Can you honestly say that you are a forgiving person and can you be supportive if your online date says or does something that is insulting, rude, or ugly?  What will this person really bring to your life--added happiness, peace of mind, financial support, a listening ear, love, etc.?

Take your time before you arrange to meet someone that might not be very easy to get out of your life in the future.  Think before you commit money, time, and body.

Nicholl McGuire, author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, see blog here. 

Saturday

Minor Disputes Will Not Kill Your Relationship

So you have been disagreeing with one another more frequently lately, did you really think you would always have a peaceful, loving, sweet, and agreeable partner?  Just because disputes have increased between the two of you lately, doesn't mean that your relationship is coming to an end.  If anything, it is a good sign that you both are maturing, learning more about one another, and feel more confident to speak your mind.  In new relationships, many couples put on a good act, but once the newness wears off, now lies become truths and the realization of whether or not a lover is indeed right for them comes to the surface.

While you read this, there are couples all over the world having screaming matches, fist wars, and rages about personal property.  Thank God, your relationship woes aren't as bad as others or are they?  Disputes are inevitable and how you manage them will determine whether you really want to be in a relationship with that man or woman who keeps giving you the blues.

1.  Ask yourself, "Is what my sweetheart saying really that bad?"  Truth is that if someone stopped by and listened to what your partner was saying to you, it just might not be as bad as you are making it out to be.  Maybe he or she is saying something that you don't agree with, rubbing you the wrong way about something you did or didn't do, or has some other issue with you, whatever the case if you don't look at the issue as "so bad," it won't be.

2.  What else has been happening in your partner's life besides you?  Sometimes sudden illness, accidents, abuse, death, job loss, pregnancy, and other issues alter one's personality.  People don't always bounce back into that person we once knew.  So you have a choice, deal with your changed partner or don't.  Complaining will get you nowhere, but back into yet another argument.  Offer your service, be nicer and more understanding and when all else fails, move on.

3.  Are you doing all you can to make wrongs right?  Disputes will continue between couples if no one doesn't bother to forgive and forget.  Apologies can be difficult to give out if one believes that he or she is right most of the time, it isn't any wonder why you argue.   Try humbling yourself, listening to your partner, and then learning from your mistakes.

4.  When was the last time you gently touched your partner, made love, or enjoyed one another without distractions?  If intimacy is lacking, the body will act out.  There will be an increase of disputing.  Eyes will roam.  The grass might appear to look greener on the other side.  It is obvious that life responsibilities are robbing you of your intimate relationship.  Make time for one another!

5.  Are you spending way too much time with one another?  Needy individuals will suffocate their partners.  They will expect way too much too soon.  They will want their boyfriends and girlfriends to be very attentive and often consider their feelings.  If you or your partner is like this, you will argue, because one or both of you are growing weary of one another.  This is definitely the time to stop talking to one another, give each other space, and find something more to do with your lives besides sit in each other's presence.  If a girlfriend or boyfriend sincerely wants to be with you, he or she will come back around, but if not, the person most likely was looking for a way out of his or her misery.

Now that you have been given five questions to ponder, remind yourself that your relationship is not over and that minor disputes are just that.  If you are in a relationship that is sincerely meant to be, you and your partner will come out of this season of disagreement.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry and other blogs.

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