Avid Book Readers and Gaming Dates Not Your Types?

She says she loves to read. He enjoys playing board and video games. These people might be a good match for someone else, but for you? Some of these singles are attractive, have nice jobs, drive good cars, and other things, you might be easily impressed.

Sometimes we make ourselves believe we can adapt to someone else’s personality. Yet, when we start dating people with interests, different from our own, we hope that they might change. We find out they love their hobbies a bit more than we thought. We also notice how we react to what they do in their spare time and it isn’t always positive. Not everyone enjoys gaming. Some singles prefer to stay active doing more “fun” and “interesting” things outdoors.

What makes some of these dates so dull is how long they tend to an activity? Maybe a date enjoys going to a friend’s house weekly to play video games or enjoys spending evenings on a couch curled up with a good book. This isn’t attractive to those who prefer parties, shopping, and travel. Now if the date has other hobbies besides, reading and gaming, then chances are he or she just might be a good fit for the more outgoing one.

Disinterest tends to show up when we least expect it while dating some people, because we have adapted to their routines rather than keeping up with our own. We think that by being more tolerant of people different than us, that somehow the treatment will be reciprocated. Unfortunately it rarely is when one has been passionate for years about certain hobbies. Some may have ended previous relationships because they loved reading and gaming far more than love-making.

If you find you are dating a real bore, you can always mention how you feel, but be advised that person will not change for you especially when he or she has been that way for years. The avid reader loves her books and the game enthusiast loves his games. You might notice during the early part of the dating phase the reader might put down her books for you and the guy who enjoys gaming will move away from the screen long enough to learn more about you. However, once the newness of meeting you has worn off, this is when the invites to come join them in their hobbies might be offered. If you enjoy the same things, you most likely won’t have any issues—that is unless a date is a fanatic. If this is the case, you will have to be clear about your likes and dislikes early on. If he or she respects your boundaries, you just might enjoy dating the gamer or reader.

Now there are some signs you might want to look out for when dating people who love their quiet activities and gaming times. Consider the following. They might be late for dates, ignore phone calls, and cancel going out if the hobby is really interesting to them for the moment. Maybe the gaming guy is trying to beat an opponent or turn over a video game. The reader might be on a really good chapter of a book. If this is the case, you might be temporarily forgotten. The hobbyist makes excuses, lies, or even covers up just how much he or she is committed to his or her passion depending on how dates respond to him or her. If you notice the hobby is taking up too much of a date’s time, bail out early, he or she is letting you know that having a quality relationship is insignificant to him or her.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.